Kin
by Inkognito97
Summary: "Why have you abandoned me then?" the Jedi Master needed to know. "Why did I have to come to Illum to connect to you at least somewhat?" "Why SHOULD I come to you?" the Force countered. The voice seemed to come from all around Qui-Gon. Basically the Force is done with Qui-Gon's behaviour and treatment of its son... Part 11 in the 'ABC of Obi-Wan Kenobi'


AN: I do not own Star Wars or any of ist characters. I just borrowed them, forced them to do as I said (wrote) and afterwards I will give them right back (probably)...

Enjoy! XD

P.s. Every mistake is my own.

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Qui-Gon closed his eyes and sank to his knees. He let go of every single thought that plagued him. He released every little emotion into the Force, which quite reluctantly accepted them. He needed to clear his head, as well as his heart to find the answers he was looking for.

The tall man took a deep breath, let the cool air fill his lungs and waited a few seconds before he blew the air out again. He repeated the procedure a few times until all that remained was he and the Living Force, which lulled him more and more into a state of security and peacefulness. Yet something was different. Usually the Living Force would surround him, offer him guidance, but now it closed around him and pulled him deeper. For a moment Qui-Gon wanted to resist. He felt unsure, but he quickly pushed that thought aside again. This was the Force, the Force would not harm him. So he allowed himself to be pulled under, somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that he would not have been able to resist either way. He was pulled deeper and deeper until nothing but darkness surrounded him.

For a moment – that seemed to the Jedi Master like an eternity – nothing happened. Then the darkness began to shrink and light took its place. The darkness did not completely vanish however, its shadows remained, building the edges. Qui-Gon eyed them warily; he made sure to stay in the centre, where the light was almost blinding.

He did not even try to guess where he was; probably a place deep inside the Force, or deep inside himself even. He hoped that it wasn't the latter. A shift in the air caught the Jedi's attention and he knew he was not alone anymore. He got up from his still kneeling position, his hand subconsciously drifting towards the lightsaber that miraculously still rested on his belt.

"This will not help you here," an accented voice spoke up. It sounded oddly familiar, yet Qui-Gon could not place it. Every time the answer was in reach, it eluded him.

"Who are you?" he eventually asked. His midnight blue eyes were darting around, desperately trying to pinpoint the owner of the voice, but to no avail. He could see absolutely nobody, not even lurking in the shadows. It almost was, as if this other person – and if the voice was an indicator the person was a man – was not there, at least not physically.

"You know who I am," the other being replied and there was even some humour in his voice. Qui-Gon in fact HAD a few guesses, but he hesitated with speaking them out aloud. "I am the Force."

The Jedi's muscles tensed. This possibility had been on his mental list too, even pretty much on top. Still, years of Jedi training finally kicked in and Qui-Gon reached out to ask the Force. Strangely enough, it gave him the same sense of inferiority that the other being made him feel. Also it confirmed the being's words, which in itself was strange, it was not every day that the Force confirmed his own truth and existence after all. The man shook his head, causing a few strands of his hair to fall into his face. He ignored them for now. Just as he tried to ignore the shadows, that were dancing around him.

"Do not worry, they will not harm you. They are just a part of me, as is the light."

"I don't think I understand."

The voice chuckled, "What do you think IS the Force? Light? Dark? It is both. Darkness cannot exist without light and where there is light, there will always be darkness. It is an ancient wisdom that so many beings struggle with. Although I HAVE to admit, that I am currently rather unbalanced now."

"I can see that," the long haired Jedi Master replied, while eyeing the dark edges warily.

"You see nothing. That is the point," the Force had lost all its previous humour, "You never have, you do not and if things don't change, then you never will."

Qui-Gon took a moment to think about those mere words. The Force was right – of course it was – he truly did not see. No creature did, they were not omnipotent like the Force after all. Most beings just looked as far as their own nose went and Qui-Gon at least believed that he did look further than his own nose.

"That is correct, which is why I decided to return to you and to guide you." The Force provided. It slightly unnerved the Master that he was such an open book, but then again, he always had been. It was probably just the image of the Force TALKING – literally talking – to him that caused the uneasiness.

"Why have you abandoned me then?" the Jedi Master needed to know. "Why did I have to come to Illum to connect to you at least somewhat?"

"Why SHOULD I come to you?" the Force countered. The voice seemed to come from all around Qui-Gon.

"Why?" the enraged Jedi Master repeated. It was bad enough that the Force had evaded him in the first place, making him take drastic measures to contact it, but to ask such a question. "I am following your will, your guidance and YOU ask ME, why you should come to my aid?" he was screaming the closer he got to the end of his small speech.

"Are you? Following my will that is, or do you just pretend to?"

"Of course I do."

"You can fool others, maybe even deceive yourself, but don't try to lie to me Qui-Gon Jinn. It will do you no good."

This enraged the Jedi Master even more. It was worse enough to be cut from the very source of his being but to hear such insults. "I am no liar! Tell me, wasn't it your 'will' that led me towards Anakin? Wasn't it your 'guidance' that made me survive the wound that Sith gave me? Wasn't it you, who brought me here?" It was quite difficult to spat and yell at someone, who was not there physically, but the long haired man managed nevertheless.

"Yes, no and yes."

"What?" was it just his imagination or did something move in the shadows?

"It was indeed my will that you met and even freed Anakin Skywalker. It was not my guidance that made you survive, but rather the stubbornness and persistence of your former student. And it should be quite clear that I indeed brought you here, in between the worlds. Not yet one with me, but not in the world of the living either."

It was certainly no imagination. There definitely was somebody moving in the shadows. The person – it was undeniable a man – was shorter than Qui-Gon, yet he had an aura of superiority around him. The man's features were still hidden, the Jedi could barely make out the dark robes he was wearing, while he was circling around the taller male.

"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked, his eyes following the other's movements. "What has he to do with anything?"

"He has to do with EVERYTHING." The voice answered and it belonged to the walking man.

"I don't see how."

"As I already said," the Force sounded bored and perhaps a little bit annoyed, "you see nothing. And this is your chance of rectifying yourself. This is your chance to learn, Qui-Gon Jinn."

For a moment the Jedi's maverick and rebellious streak wanted to take over, but he quickly squashed those thoughts. It would do him no good to be aggressive and disrespectful to the Force. Not after it had already abandoned him once. "How?"

The dark figure stopped moving. He was still engulfed in the lingering shadows, but Qui-Gon could see him turn towards him. The man had blazing green eyes, the perfect mixture of blue and yellow, the perfect balance between dark and light. Those intelligent eyes reminded him of someone else, but again he could not grasp the obvious answer. Annoyance arose anew in the tall Jedi, apparently the Force was still denying him certain things.

"You could start by apologizing to the one you have wronged. And when I say 'apologizing' then I mean it. I don't want to hear anything half heartedly. I want you to figure out WHAT exactly you have done wrong, how much damage and hurt you have caused and then I want you to BEG for forgiveness."

Qui-Gon wrinkled his nose in disgust. This would go against his pride and his very nature. Then another thought crossed his mind. "Who DID I hurt?" he asked aloud, but no one in particular. His gaze swept from the other figure to the bright ground.

"My son for an instance," the Force provided helpfully and his tone held a certain edge to it that the Jedi Master could not quite place.

"Anakin?" He could recall no event in which he might have hurt the young blonde boy. In fact, it had been HIM, who had been by the boy's side, until the incident on Naboo that is. And even afterwards the boy had always come to his medical bed to ask for guidance and to seek help, be it with a personal problem or with his studies. Qui-Gon had always been eager to help. It made his days in the medical bay at least somewhat less boring, especially since a certain ginger haired man did not deem it necessary to visit his old Master. He had not even come after his knighting, Qui-Gon was still waiting for a single word, for some kind of gratitude, but he did never receive it.

Now that he thought about it, he might have hurt the blonde whirlwind when he had declared that he would leave to travel to Illum, to seek out the Force. It had been Yoda's idea and Qui-Gon had fully agreed with it, even when this had meant that he had to tell Anakin to stay put. He HAD raised his voice then and there, for the young Skywalker had protested and thrown a tantrum. But surely this could not be what the Force meant, could it?

"Anakin Skywalker is NOT my son!" the voice hissed, anger marking every word. When Qui-Gon looked up again, the other's eyes had turned a warm gold and the shadows around the bright clearance were rapidly growing. "He was torn from my very being, he is the result of an abuse of the worst kind. And I could do nothing against it, for it would have meant, killing an innocent being because of the wrongdoings of a single man. Sadly that man is beyond my reach still, but not for long."

Qui-Gon wanted to ask for a name and to ask for answers. He was greatly disturbed by his new discoveries. So Anakin was NOT the Chosen One, he still was a very powerful Force user, a boy with a great gift... a boy he had wanted to train at all costs. A sudden dread and realisation hit Qui-Gon.

"Yes Qui-Gon Jinn, now you are beginning to understand, beginning to SEE. You discarded my REAL son in favour of somebody your PRIDE told you to train. I NEVER ordered you to take Anakin Skywalker under your wing," his voice was raising in anger and he stepped closer and closer to the Jedi Master, who was beginning to feel fear. The shadows were moving with the man, causing an uneasy feeling to arise in Qui-Gon's chest. "Oh, if my son had not interfered... you would not be alive, you would be one with me and I would have made sure to show you just how much pain you have caused my precious child. I would have shown you what it means to suffer."

"Suffer? Don't you think I have suffered enough already? You took Xanatos from me... and then Tahl!" Grief made him bold.

"I saved Tahl from a life full of misery. Death is also just a part of life and you – just as she did – should accept that. As for Xanatos... well, I DID create you with your own free will. I won't deny that it was a mistake to pair him with you, that I should have interfered more, but I did everything to make up for it. I sent you my son, the brightest and greatest creation I have ever achieved, to aid you..." a pause, "You were special, precious in your own way. I always loved you greatly. You were different from the other Jedi, you where always meant for greatness. This is also one of the reasons why I have given my son into your care. I truly believed he could heal you and bring you joy and I truly had imagined that you would be good for him too. It seems I have been wrong about this as well." The anger had evaporated into nothingness, literally pushed deep into the Force. Qui-Gon did not doubt for a second that it was still there, hidden behind strong walls, waiting to break out again. But for now the shadows returned to where they had come from, yet the figure did not move. His eyes however returned to their previous warm green colour that spoke of life and wisdom.

Qui-Gon gasped once the shadows had vanished from the man and he could actually see the other's features. The other's hair was reddish-blonde. He sported a beard around his mouth that shared the same colour. There was a birthmark under his right eye and now Qui-Gon could see the greater picture. The accent, the look, the whole way of moving, it all screamed one single name, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"You have finally figured it out, haven't you?" his voice sounded defeated, his eyes held a certain sadness.

"Obi-Wan... Obi-Wan is the Chosen One?" This revelation should have surprised him to the core, but somehow it didn't. Deep down, Qui-Gon had always known that Obi-Wan was special and meant for more than just knighthood. His Padawan had always been strong in the Force, achieving what should have been nearly impossible – even for Jedi standards – with ease. This was also the reason so many Masters had not looked at the young Initiate twice. The Jedi feared what they did not know, they feared what was different. Obi-Wan's life would have been a single struggle to find his place and destiny from the very first breathe he took, Qui-Gon had no doubt about that.

"And you threw him away, just like this. Even after he practically begged and fought me for your life and wellbeing."  
"Naboo," his voice was barely more than a whisper, but he knew the Force would understand nevertheless. "I should have been dead, I should have died."

The Force's mouth quirked in something akin to a small smile, "It seems that even I have a weakness, I simply can't say no to my own child... There was a time, when I thought you knew that feeling too, but now I am not too sure about it, not anymore." A sigh escaped the physical form of the Force, "I am not sure what went wrong. You should have been the perfect match and you were, but apparently it was not enough, when a mere prophecy and your damn pride could so easily destroy a bond of twelve years."

"I truly hurt him that much, didn't I?"

"Yes. And as it is his nature, he blames himself... again."

"Is this why he has been avoiding me like the plague?" He received a short nod. "He probably wanted to give me and Anakin space."

"He is stubborn," the Force shrugged, "he does not even listen to me anymore, at least not on matters that concern you and Anakin. The fact is and remains, that Anakin is not supposed to be your Padawan. He is supposed to be Obi-Wan's, for he is the only one who can conquer the boy's darkness. If it is not defeated, the galaxy you know now, will not exist for much longer."

Qui-Gon swallowed at the revelation. He was receiving a vision of the future, probably the most useful in the history of the Jedi and the Sith. There was no denying it, not even from him, that this particular vision would come to pass. Why else should the Force warn him otherwise?

"What do I have to do?" He finally asked.

"As I already said, you are given a rare gift. Use this second chance, do not hurt my son again, do not disappoint me again, or I promise you, you will deeply regret it." His eyes were blazing with gold for the briefest of seconds.

"Will you help me?" It almost looked as if the Force was taken aback by the request. "He will undoubtedly try to avoid me further, not that I blame him. But I... I need your help, I cannot do it alone."

"Admitting your weakness and asking for help is the first step for truly seeing the universe. Well done," the Force praised and it left the tall Jedi Master with a warm and cosy feeling in his chest, "and yes, I will be by your side, like I've always been."

With that the surroundings began to shift. The light was becoming so bright that Qui-Gon actually had to shield his eyes. Then, everything went dark. The next thing the long haired Jedi knew, was that he was back in the icy caves of Illum.

More determined than ever before in his relatively long life, the Jedi Master returned to his ship and to Coruscant where a certain ginger haired man was undoubtedly hiding from him. And if his method of luring Obi-Wan into a well planned trap – namely luring him into the training hall and locking all the escape ways – was a little overdone, the Force forgave him. In the end, their meeting had turned to an ugly mixture of shouting, crying, hurt feelings and eventual peace. It had left both Jedi exhausted afterwards.

Qui-Gon Jinn was smiling however, but not quite giving in to his exhaustion just yet. Too precious was the moment. His dear Obi-Wan was deeply asleep in his embrace and he seemed finally content again. There still were a few tear stains on his cheeks and probably on Qui-Gon's too, but those could easily be removed. For now both were content with each other.

The tall Jedi pressed a loving kiss on his young charges forehead. The young Knight did not even stir. There was a slight shift in the Force and when the Master looked up from his foster son, he was not surprised to find the physical form of the Force standing only a few feet before him. He WAS surprised by the different appearance however. Gone were the shadows from the other's features and his eyes had a familiar blue-green shade. The Force was smiling, a true smile and Qui-Gon could not help but return it.

A blink of an eye and the Force stood only an inch away from the pair on the ground. He leaned down and first pressed a kiss on Obi-Wan's cheek – this time the Knight did stir – and then he even gave Qui-Gon's forehead one. Warmth spread through his whole body and it would not leave. The Force straightened up again and with an almost longing gaze, vanished into nothingness. Though 'vanished' might be the wrong word, for the Force never truly left. Not that that was bothering the Jedi in the training hall however.

Qui-Gon had also closed his eyes at this point. There was no hesitation this time. He succumbed to sleep, with the Force securely wrapped around him and Obi-Wan, warming and protecting them. It was then that he knew that not only Obi-Wan had forgiven him, but the Force had as well...

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I hope you enjoyed it. I would really appreciate it, if you left a review and tell me what you think. :)


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